8:30 pm, hostel cafeteria.
It was pitch black at night, only few stars were scattered, adorning the dark sky. Everyone was asleep, of course because of the carnival and the blasting party. I knew I shouldn’t be here, but I was out of water and my throat was parched as a dried river. When my finger wrapped around the cold handle of the door and it cracked open, I heard someone, though a familiar voice, sobbing. I immediately got inside, the room lightened up by the light of the refrigerator and next to it, my eyes discerned the familiar brown eyes rimmed with gold. No doubt it was Lisa.
I walked towards her, and as soon as she saw me, she hastily wiped the tears trailing down her cheeks and dropping on her shirt. She was still wearing the same shirt she was wearing in the party.
Trust me , the way she sang, the way she danced, surprised every single soul present in the auditorium.
“Lisa are you fine?” I asked, tentatively.
She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around it and without looking at me, she replied “yes, of course ”
“No, of course you are not fine, else you’d be in your room right now.”
She looked up at me, eyes glistening in the soft, pale yellow light.
“What are you doing here?”
I moved , sit in front of her, my back leaning against the cold wall.
“Needed some water” I said and raised my bottle that I had grabbed from an empty table.
“You were awesome in the party by the way ” I said and took a sip.
Her face was blank, as though she didn’t remember anything at all.
“Hey, just tell me, are you fine? Do you need any help?” I asked as calmly as I could.
She just shook her head and then, tears began oozing down her cheeks and she buried her face in the tiny space between her chest and knees.
I immediately set the bottle on the mosaic floor and placed my hands on her shoulders, slightly shaking her.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She shoved my hands away, her hair sticking on her forehead that was coruscating with the beads of perspiration.
“Yes I’m not fine. I’m broken. And that person on the stage, that wasn’t me. Right now it’s me. The lost shattered girl with pieces scattered everywhere. It’s me, the person who cries over losing people who don’t even bother to think about her. And it’s me, the person who writes about light and is herself full of darkness”
Her last words were almost inaudible, lost in the sound of her painful sobs.
“Now will you go?” She asked.
“Lisa it’s okay. You know that line,’ it’s okay not to be okay’? Now stop crying ”
“Please Liam, I know what to do. Please. Just. Let. Me. Be.”
Saying this she got up, and grabbed her bag. I stood up with her and was just standing there with my mouth open hoping some words would come out to calm her, to tell her that she was not alone, to tell her that we all broken but still we continue to live, having that fake smile plastered over our faces.
She looked at me, then walked to the door. Before she could go and disappear in the darkness, I called her name.
She turned back, curtains of bewilderment and exasperation drawn across her honey coloured face.
“I like you, I mean the person you are, either ways”
Her lips slightly stretched, then curved into a full smile, that did something to my consciousness, to my heart, to me.
Without saying a word, she stepped into the unfathomable darkness, leaving me alone with my bottle and my thoughts.